Numb

At times, I’ve got this numbness in me,

Like the world is a blur, and I can’t see.

I question everything, and everyone,

Wondering if the life I’ve lived is truly mine, or just undone.

I’ve had to pinch my arm, to make sure I’m real,

That I’m not just a shadow, a figure that doesn’t feel.

But even then, the doubt remains,

Like I’m caught in a loop of endless chains.

I wish it were nothing but a bad dream,

A waking nightmare, a fading scream.

But it’s not, it’s the weight I carry inside,

A question of where I am, and where I’ve tried.

It’s not that I wonder what I’m doing,

But what if it’s all just an endless pursuing?

Where am I going? Is there a map?

Or am I lost, without a path to track?

Do I have a purpose? A reason to be?

Or am I drifting, lost at sea?

If I do, what is it, what’s the truth?

Am I meant to learn, or meant to lose?

The numbness lingers, but I breathe through the haze,

Asking myself if there’s more to these days.

And though I don’t know where this road will end,

I walk it still, even if it’s around the bend.

Wandering

I’ve lived a life that hasn’t been easy,

A quiet storm that’s lived inside me.

I’m not from here, nor from there,

A wandering soul, too lost to care.

I’ve worn masks that never quite fit,

Played the part, though I don’t admit—

That the family I call my own,

Is a puzzle I’ve never truly known.

Each smile they gave me, I gave back,

But something in me always lacked.

A place to land, a sense of home,

A truth I couldn’t call my own.

They’ve built a world I can’t claim,

A house of stories, not my name.

Yet I stayed, I stayed and I lied,

Wishing for a place where I could hide.

But the heart knows what the mind won’t say,

And the truth comes clearer every day.

I’ve loved this life, though it’s not been kind—

And still, I search for the ties that bind.

A life not mine, yet somehow dear,

I’ve lived it all, and still, I fear—

That one day, I’ll find the truth I seek,

And know the life I’ve yet to speak.

Unknown Path

I can’t see the path He’s drawn,

Nor the future He has in store,

I can’t grasp the plan He’s weaving

Or the doors that will one day open wide.

At times, the road is shrouded, dark,

The weight too much to bear,

But in those moments, I’ve felt His grace,

A quiet strength, a steady prayer.

When all seems lost, and hope runs thin,

He’s been there, every step of the way,

A guiding hand, unseen but real,

Lifting me through the hardest days.

Though many may not understand,

The reasons, the plans, the design,

I trust in what He holds for me,

In His timing, His plan divine.

So though the way may twist and turn,

And though the world may doubt,

I’ll keep walking with faith and trust,

For He knows the way, there’s no doubt.

And in the end, I’ll see it clear,

The beauty He’s made from the pain,

For every step, He was right there—

A faithful God, who will remain.

Let Go

This is my prayer, I let it go,

For what we shared, I love you so.

But if my heart cannot be enough,

If I fall short, if times get tough,

I hope you find the one you seek,

Whose love for you is strong and deep.

May she see the things I missed,

The quiet truths and tender gifts.

I pray she treats you with the care

That, for all my love, I couldn’t share.

In ways I faltered, she’ll be strong,

Where I went wrong, she’ll make it right.

So as I part and watch you go,

I wish you peace, I wish you glow.

Though love for you will still remain,

I release you now, and bear no pain.

For what I couldn’t give, I pray,

She’ll offer freely every day.

Someone

If you don’t speak, someone else will find the words,

If you don’t act, another will rise and be heard.

The dreams you delay, someone else will pursue,

The path you hesitate on, another will walk through.

If you stay silent, others will voice your plea,

If you stand still, others will set their hearts free.

The love you withhold, another will give,

The life you postpone, someone else will live.

So while you wait, remember this truth clear:

The world keeps turning—someone else will steer.

The chances you miss, the moments you stall,

Someone else will catch them, and answer the call.

No care

You tell me you don’t care,

But your eyes betray the truth,

A flicker of something,

A shadow of what you won’t admit.

You say it’s nothing,

Like a stone sinking in the sea,

But I see the ripples—

Waves you never let me see.

You tell me you don’t care,

As if it’s simple, clear,

But your silence speaks volumes,

And I can’t help but hear.

You say it’s fine,

As if “fine” could ever be enough,

But I feel the weight of words unspoken,

And wonder if you’re really that tough.

You tell me you don’t care,

Yet I feel the pull,

Of something more—

Something I can’t ignore.

So say what you mean,

And let the truth unfold,

For the lies you speak

Leave me in the cold.

Hurt

You say I hurt myself,

By looking at the things you do,

As if the choice is mine alone,

To be broken by the view.

You say I shouldn’t linger,

On words that cut like glass,

But how can I turn away,

When the past won’t let me pass?

You tell me to stop looking,

At the things that tear me apart,

But how can I ignore the scars,

When they live inside my heart?

I know it’s easier to pretend,

That the pain is mine to claim,

But every look, every glance,

Feels like I’m calling out your name.

You say I hurt myself,

But it’s not my choice to see—

It’s the things you leave behind,

That still have a hold on me.

So tell me, what am I to do,

When the pieces you broke still fit?

How do I look away from the storm,

When your shadows still won’t quit?

Holly Ghost

I love you quietly,

In the spaces where I’m seen,

A place I’m not at home,

Where silence cuts so clean.

At home, my voice is muted,

My presence barely known,

But here, with you, I find myself—

A heart that’s never alone.

You speak with warmth,

Where words have been denied,

In your eyes, I find a light

Where shadows once had lied.

I shouldn’t love you this way,

I know the guilt it brings,

But at home, I’m just a ghost,

While with you, my spirit sings.

I love you because you listen,

Because you see me clear,

A refuge from the apathy,

That lives where I disappear.

At home, I’m just a whisper,

But with you, I come alive—

I love you not for what you give,

But for how I feel when I survive.

Home

Away from home, I’m heard, I’m seen,

Complimented, wanted—like I’ve always dreamed.

The words come easy, soft and kind,

A place where my heart can truly unwind.

But at home, I’m a burden, a constant sigh,

A nagger, a pain, too much to try.

Your patience wears thin, your eyes turn cold,

And I’m left in silence, feeling too bold.

I give and give, but it’s never enough,

And in your eyes, I’m just too tough.

The love I seek, the praise I crave,

Seems a distant shore, no way to save.

Why am I one thing here, and something else there?

A stranger with you, a friend in the air.

Away, I am cherished, my worth understood,

At home, I’m a shadow, misunderstood.

But still, I stay, I linger, I fight,

Hoping one day to make it right.

For the love I seek isn’t just in your glance—

It’s in the quiet hope that I’ll have a chance.

Truly

If you truly loved me,

You’d show it in your eyes,

Not just in the words you speak,

But in the silence that defies.

If you truly loved me,

Your touch would ease my fear,

Not leave me waiting, longing,

For affection to appear.

If you truly loved me,

You’d hear the things I say,

Not just brush them off as noise,

But listen in your own way.

If you truly loved me,

You’d stay when things get hard,

Not turn away in moments gray,

Leaving me with shards.

Love isn’t just in promises,

Or in the fleeting smiles,

It’s in the everyday moments—

The little things, the miles.

So if you truly loved me,

You’d show it with your soul,

In every glance, in every touch—

That’s how love makes us whole.

Empty Embrace

In the shadows of his indifference, I stand

Aching for a touch, a word, a glance

But he remains oblivious to my worth

Lost in his own world, his own dance

I give my all, my love, my time

But he takes it for granted, like it's his right

He doesn't see the beauty in my soul

Or the strength in my fight

I long for validation, for recognition

But he only sees what he wants to see

Blinded by his own selfish desires

He fails to appreciate the essence of me

I am a treasure, a gem, a rare find

But he treats me like a common stone

Unaware of the depth of my love

Or the power of my own throne

I deserve to be cherished, to be adored

To be valued for all that I am

But with a man who doesn't know how to see

I am left feeling lost, like a ship without a dam

So I must find the strength within myself

To walk away from his empty embrace

And seek out a love that will honor me

And cherish me with grace

For I am worth more than he can ever see

And I will not settle for less

I will find a man who knows how to value me

And together, we will be blessed.

Shadows

In the shadows of our vows, I stand alone

A ghost in the house we once called home

Unseen, unwanted for who I truly am

Made to believe I'm not enough, a cruel sham

I wear a mask to hide my pain

Smiling on the outside, but inside, I'm slain

My worth diminished, my spirit crushed

In this marriage where I feel hushed

I long for acceptance, for love that's true

But all I receive are words that cut through

Telling me I'm not good enough, not right

Leaving me lost in the darkness of night

I try to please, to meet your every need

But it's never enough, I can't succeed

In your eyes, I'm flawed, imperfect, wrong

A broken melody, an unsung song

I yearn to be seen, to be embraced

For who I am, not who you've placed

In this box of expectations, of false beliefs

That leave me drowning in unending grief

But I refuse to be defined by your doubts

I am worthy, I am enough, I shout

I will break free from this cage of lies

And spread my wings to reach the skies

I will no longer be unseen, unwanted

In a marriage that leaves me haunted

I will find the strength to stand tall

And embrace my worth, once and for all.

Imploring

I’ve learned to beg for scraps of you,

A word, a glance, a smile—anything to pull me through.

I stand, a shadow in your light,

Hoping that you’ll notice me tonight.

My voice becomes a whisper, soft,

Afraid that shouting might turn you off.

I stretch my hands, but they fall too short,

Wishing you’d hear the silent plea of my heart’s report.

I offer love like coins tossed in the air,

Hoping you’ll catch them, even if you don’t care.

I wait for the crumbs of your gaze to fall,

Like an empty cup, I beg for it all.

The smallest touch, the faintest word,

And I’m lost, a beggar, unheard.

Yet still, I stand, unwavering, bold—

Hoping for your love, like a story untold.

But isn’t it strange to beg for a heart,

When it’s the one thing I’ve always had from the start?

Still, here I am, in this quiet plea,

Begging for your attention, hoping you’ll see.

Unseen Blessings

Sometimes we ask for things we’re not yet ready for,

A dream too grand, a heart unsure.

We long for gifts we think we need,

But miss the truth that time will feed.

We pray for paths that shine too bright,

Not seeing shadows in the light.

For what we want and what we seek,

Are often dreams we’re yet too weak.

God gives, but sometimes it’s in wait,

For hearts to grow, for love to sate.

And when we’re ready, we’ll believe,

In blessings learned, not just received.